The American Form of Government

This was something that was forwarded to me by a friend. Food for thought in these quickly changing political times.

http://ioseph-locksley.livejournal.com/24267.html

Happy Birthday D.H.

Today we joyfully celebrate David Hyrum's first birthday. Zach had to make a trip to D.C. so we will postpone the actual family birthday party, but we did put a candle in his birthday blueberry pancake breakfast. He has been such a wonderful addition to our family this past year. We love our little one to pieces. Some things that we just adore about DH:

When we put on music, play the piano or sing he will wiggle, dance, and smile
He is learning his first baby signs including "all done" waving "hi or bye-bye" "telephone" and "want".
David Hyrum is a very snuggley baby who gives great hugs and (open mouth) kisses
He is easy to put to sleep and has (finally) started sleeping through the night on a regular basis.
D.H. loves to copy his brother. If Gabe wears an eye patch or a hat David hands it to me to put on his head. David also loves to bounce on the bed like his older brother but has to do it on his bum since he can't jump yet.
He can entertain himself for long stretches of time just exploring or playing with toys.
David just took his first steps a week and a half ago. He's no speed demon yet but I'm sure he'll get there.
He loves to ride around in the little tikes car that we bought a few weeks ago. Fast or slow the kid likes to cruise. He also loves playing with little cars and trucks and buzzing his lips to go "vroom, Vroom." (When I make his cake it will probably be shapped like a car)


David Hyrum is a blessing to care for. Thank you Heavenly Father for sending us this wonderful little boy.

Do we smile because we are happy, or are we happy because we Smile?

The leadership in our church has asked our youth to do an interesting thing this year- SMILE! They have also asked the youth to pray and read the Book of Mormon for at least 5 minutes daily. These three simple things are supposed to encourage these wonderful young people to "Be thou an example of the believer in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith,and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12) which is our current theme.
Why ask the youth to smile? A few thoughts ran through my head. It is one way to hold up your candle and not hide it under a bushel. A means to share your testimony of Christ through your countenance. It also makes other people happy. Smiling is contagious. If we truly desire to help and lift our neighbor, the easiest place to start is by smiling at them. One of the girls in class also suggested that one of parents favorite things about having kids is seeing them smile. As a parent, I know this is the case. It brings joy to my heart to see my boys smile.Heavenly Father loves us more than we could ever love our own children and of course wants to see us happy. That's why He gave us the plan of happiness, so that we could enjoy full felicity.
From what I have read and heard about smiling just using the muscles in the face to turn your cheeks upward releases endorphins that aid in creating a positive mood. The opposite is also true, scowling inevitably creates a dark mood even if nothing externally wrong has happened. Interesting case study: Imagine two groups. One group is asked to put a pen between their teeth and make sure their lips can't touch it (producing a smile). The other group is asked to put a pen in their mouth and make sure their teeth DON'T touch it, so that only the lips are holding it (and thus pulling on the face). The two groups are shown a joke. The group that is smiling thinks its a real knee slapper, the other group is not amused.
So do we smile because we are happy, or are we happy because we smile? I would say both, two sides to the same coin. So toss the coin and say cheese!

"Back to life, Back to reality"

Zach and I have come to the reality that vacation is not reality. After our lovely visit up north where we were able to enjoy 2 1/2 weeks of real winter, we've returned to the grind. (Well at least Zach is back to the grind, I'm back to the full time chase.)He is in full swing preparing for his doctoral exams next month and I'm back to piano teaching, and full time mother, daughter, and wife. Hope you enjoy some of the pictures that we took on our trip to Boston. (Gabe doesn't actually know how to play chess, he just likes the idea of playing chess with Pop-pop)

It ain't no joke, its broke!

On the day we were packing up to come to Boston, David Hyrum took a spill and tumbled down the stair case in Raleigh. He had a big goose egg on his head but he stopped crying after about 5 minutes and took a nap. After he woke up he wouldn't crawl though. His wrist wasn't swollen or discolored so I thought it was just a sprain. When we got to mom and dad's house he still wouldn't crawl so after Christmas we finally took him in and had our fears confirmed that it was broken. The cast only has to stay on for 2 1/2 weeks and he has been a trooper through it all. He even knows how to army crawl with his bum arm. Poor little guy, I hope this isn't a permanent trend!

"Mommy, there are numbers on David's Face!"

David has had a rough few weeks. He has had more than his fair share of sickness and been a little trooper through it all. What started out as a cold went sour and ended up with as an ear infection. After 7 days on the medication he broke out in hives. Big red welts all over his body that made him swell up in addition to the raccoon mask he had over his face. At first we thought it was something we gave him on Thanksgiving that we shouldn't have. After talking it over with the doctor she called for an immediate ceasing of the amoxacillian because it is a common allergen. As David began to clear up the welts turned into rings. That morning Gabe yells to me across the breakfast table- "Mommy, David has numbers on his face!" Numbers on his face? "Which numbers Gabe?"(Gabe) "Eight" (Me) "Any other numbers?" (Gabe) "Zero". Low and behold, he did have 8 and 0 on his face, poor thing. I guess all that work with numbers is paying off, I wasn't sure until his random spotting of numbers. Gabe also spotted the letter "B" in his corn flakes as shown in the picture. (David has cleared up nicely and is back to his cute self. The ear infection, however, did come back and we had to give him a azithromycin instead- a slightly more expensive alternative to amoxacillian.)

On Agency

This is a talk I gave today in sacrament meeting on agency. Zach wanted me to put it up, so I let him (This is really Zach!):

Most simply put agency is the freedom to choose between good and evil. In Moses we read that God told Adam and Eve, “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto thee.” Agency is the power to act for yourself, to make decisions that affect your life’s course.

We had this magnificent gift of Agency before we ever came to earth in the pre-mortal life. Satan said he would bring all of us back to our father’s presence, but he would have taken away our agency. He would have forced us to be obedient. When his offer was rejected, he rebelled and was cast out of heaven with his followers. Think of your gut reaction to the words “freedom” and “choice”; now reflect on your feelings about the word “force”. We are happier doing things when we have made our own choices.

We all used our agency in heaven to follow Christ and come to earth to obtain a body and be tested. One purpose of earth life is to show what choices we will make. In Abr.3:21 Jesus Christ says to Heavenly Father, “We will prove them (meaning us) herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them,” If we were forced to choose the right like Satan wanted, we would not be able to show to God or ourselves what our choices would be.

I would like to discuss three principals relating to agency.

1. Agency is not free. Our power to choose and make mistakes was paid for by the Savior.

2. We cannot control the agency of others

3. Using agency wisely creates freedom, it does not limit it.

Principal 1: Agency is not free

“Free agency” is a misnomer. Rather it should be called paid agency, either you have to pay or let Christ pay. As Lehi says in 2 Ne. 2:26-27, “And the Messiah cometh in the fullness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall.” He goes on to say, “And because that they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given. Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great Mediator of all men, (in other words, by following Jesus Christ) or to choose captivity and death (by following Satan).

The mistakes we make, or sins we commit, using our agency must be paid for. I’d like to compare it to an agency credit card where the balance must always be paid. Satan’s ploy is trying to convince you that your purchases (or sins) now do not have any real consequence. You can pay later in that illusive future when you are loaded with money. Satan says to enjoy now and pay later. If he has really worked one over on you, you believe you never have to pay or that no one does.

Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge of the seventy said in this past conference, “One of the most popular and attractive philosophies of men is to live life your own way, do your own thing, be yourself, don’t let others tell you what to do. But the Lord said, “I am the way” He said, “Follow me.” He said, “What manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am. Don’t think you can’t… unlike every other experience in this life, this is not a human endeavor. It is rather the work of God … Therefore while the Lord’s invitation to follow him is the highest of all it is also achievable by everyone, not because we are able but because He is, and because He can make us able too.”

Christ suffered for my sins and your sins that we may exercise this wonderful gift but knowing we would make mistakes He prepared a way to repent and come back to Him. If we will let Him, He has already paid the price of our agency. Brothers and sisters, He is willing to pay your huge credit card balance.

Agency is not free. Our power to choose and make mistakes was paid for by the Savior.

Principal 2: We cannot control the agency of others

We all love autonomy and choice naturally. I’m much more likely to get a positive response from my 2 ½ yr old son Gabriel if he has a choice between peas or lima beans, walking or being carried up the stairs to bed. It makes us feel we have power over our situation.

It seems obvious at first that we cannot control the agency of others, yet most of us have tried to do it in the past. We would like others to act in a certain way, and it may even be with good intention, we try to manipulate their actions. It could be friends, peers, co-workers, family, politicians or anyone we have meaningful contact with.

I learned this principle recently as I pondered and prayed about how to help Gabe be more obedient. The thought came to me that if I would be more patient he would seem more obedient to me. I thought I had a righteous prayer, but I was praying for the wrong thing. The Spirit reminded me that my decision and my agency and my responsibility lay in my parenting and my reaction, not in his action. As I choose to be more patient with him, he does seem to be more obedient, whether he is or not. He is naturally more compliant when I try to guide more and force less.

Does that mean we do nothing to help our children choose the right? No, we like God, are supposed to persuade, direct, and encourage good behavior, but just remember we cannot force it. Gabe may have just needed a little more time to respond or a little more convincing in or order to make the right choice. As parents we may use a variety of methods to try and help our children use their agency for good. Like Heavenly Father we may warn of punishment for disobedience, explain inevitable consequences of unhappiness that follow sin, let them know of the blessings and happiness that follow making right choices etc. We don’t just throw up our hands in the air and say there’s nothing I can do, he has to make his own choices.

Elder Bednar said that parents are to do everything they can to help children understand the “range of acceptable options” and not just say that they don’t want to interfere with their children’s freedom. As in the case with a boys decision to go mission, like Elder Ward here, it is the parents’ job to help their sons remember the decision they already made to obey and serve as a missionary in the pre-mortal existence.

We cannot control the agency of others, we can only try our hardest to influence for good. And often, as in my case, the best place to start looking on how to change our situation is in the mirror. Our righteous decisions will have an effect on others but we cannot control the use of others’ agency.

Principal 3: Using agency wisely creates freedom, it does not limit it.

Power is a word that I have found closely connected with the word agency: power over our own situation, power over the future, power to be increasingly happy as we make right choices. When we choose to live according to God’s plan for us, our agency is strengthened. Agency is not simply to choose whatever you want but to choose righteousness. Right choices increase our power to make more right choices. In Doctrine and Covenants 58:27-28 it says, “For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves.” And in vs. 27 it tells us how to use our agency, “Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;”

We think of everyone as having the same amount of agency, the same ability to choose, but that simply isn’t the case. After Adam ate the fruit his freedom to stay in the garden disappeared. A drug addict’s ability to choose diminishes with every hit or drink that he takes. A parent’s temper becomes more automatic every time they yell, and the window to choose is shortened, the same thing with road-rage. A person that just has to watch “their shows” increasingly gives up agency over the use of their time to be productive, get needed rest, or be of help to others. If it is a less than totally uplifting show, which most of them are, we give up the agency of pure thought later on when those words and images come back to our mind. A teenager has a great deal of agency before they get in the car to go to the party or drive off to a secluded location with the opposite sex. Once at the party they no longer can choose what manner of sin they are subjected to. Once alone with their date their agency and power to make the right choice decreases with every passing minute. Agency is a mater of degrees and with poor decisions we decrease the power we have over our selves, our life and our future both here and in eternity.

Elder Bednar said, “Agency is much more than choice. Choice is only a part of agency. Agency is the capacity of independent action.” He goes on to say, “The gospel plan is one of giving increasing amounts of agency back through covenants.” And that “obedience is joyful.”

In review: Agency is not free. Our power to choose and make mistakes was paid for by the Savior. We cannot control the agency of others and Using agency wisely creates freedom, it does not limit it.