I am a woman of Faith

(Zach and I were asked to speak on Faith today in sacrament meeting. I gave a short intro to our family which I've cut out because if you are reading this blog, I'm assuming you already know us.)

I am a woman of faith. I partook of the fruit knowing that I would be cast out of the Lord’s presence and his beautiful garden to begin a life of toil and tears. I trusted in His plan and began a family in that desolate lonely world. I am a woman of faith.

I am like Rachel, Hannah, Sariah, and Elizabeth of old and cannot bear children. It breaks my heart. It is my greatest sorrow. I do everything that I can but I do not despair. I wait on the Lord and trust in his timing. I know he has not misplaced my blessings and that the Lord’s promises are sure. I am a woman of faith.

I followed my husband from my comforting home and family in New York to go to the Ohio. I donated my best china to be used in the construction of a temple for our God. I followed the prophet’s word as we left that beautiful temple for Missouri where we were cast out like those having a plague. My faith did not waver. I followed the word of the Lord to Navuoo and I will yet follow My God again across the plains to an unknown spot in the west. When I get there I will pick up the broken pieces of my heart and family and start again. I am a woman of faith.

Like King Mosiah I sent my precious sons off on missions to the Lamanites, trusting that the Lord will keep them in the hallow of His Hand. If they come not back to me I count it a blessing, like Paul, to suffer for Christ’s sake. I am a woman of faith.

I pay my tithing even before I buy bread for my young ones. I am a single mother of three small children and I have nothing but a little bit of beans and rice on my shelves to feed them. I know the Lord will provide. I am a woman of faith.

My 35 year old husband , protector, provider and best friend was just diagnosed with cancer. I pray to the Lord with hope that he will be cured, but I always end my plea with, “Thy will be done,” and I am at peace. I am a woman of faith- without faith I am nothing.

There are a thousand ways to define faith for it has dimensions that touch all aspects of this life and the life beyond. A good woman of faith I admire defined it as, “Giving up a known good (or comfort), for a greater unknown good.”

"Faith is putting all your eggs in God's basket and counting your blessings before they've hatched."

I am obviously not the kaleidoscope woman of faith described in the short essay above, but I am a woman of faith. It is the barometer I measure my life’s choices by. When I was debating whether or not to marry my sweet husband I had doubts and took it to the Lord. He assured me that if I married Zach that I would be happy. I had faith and acted on that prompting. Six and a half years later we are still happily married.

I have faith that the Lord will help us raise our three beautiful boys and often go to Him in prayer about how to handle a certain problem we are having. The Lord is quick to answer this sort of plea because these Spirits are so precious and youth is so fleeting. When I follow the prompting not to force story time, to immediately check on what they are doing, or to follow through with discipline then our home is happier, safer, and more at peace for it.

Everyone has some sort of faith or trust that they base their actions on. Actions are always founded in faith. This is why James says, “Faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.” You can have faith in the weather man, government, talk radio, friends, family, personal electronic devises, media messages, or in yourself. You have faith that your employer will pay you so you get up in the morning and go to work. You have faith that the winter is cold so you put on a sweater. You have faith that seeds will yield fruit so you plant a garden. You have faith; the choice is not whether to have faith but where you will place it. The only difference between faith in God and faith in the arm of flesh, is that God will never let you down. He may not always give you what you want or when you want it, but He always sends what you need. This faith not only motivates us to do, but to do good. If you would like to take a litmus test of your own level of faith in Jesus Christ just think, “Would a stranger be able to tell where my faith is placed if they took a look at my expenditures, looked at a log of how I spend my time, reviewed a list of what I consumed on a screen or in print? Would there be overwhelming evidence to convict me of being a Christian? Would there even be sufficient proof of minimal faith?”

Bishop Richard C. Edgley, first counselor in the presiding bishopric, gave a talk in conference entitled “Faith- the choice is yours.” He states that when our sacred doctrine and beliefs are challenged this is our opportunity to become acquainted with God in a most private and intimate manner. This is our opportunity to choose. Faith in God is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours.”

This talk reminded me of a similar talk that I enjoyed by Elder Anderson of the Q12. He remembers,

“While there are many experiences like the one we are having today, full of spiritual power and confirmation, there are also days when we feel inadequate and unprepared, when doubt and confusion enter our spirits, when we have difficulty finding our spiritual footing. Part of our victory as Disciples of Christ is what we do when these feelings come.

Nearly 40 years ago as I contemplated the challenge of a mission, I felt very inadequate and unprepared. I remember praying, “Heavenly Father, how can I serve a mission when I know so little?” I believed in the Church, but I felt my spiritual knowledge was very limited. As I prayed, the feeling came: “You don’t know everything, but you know enough!” That reassurance gave me the courage to take the next step into the mission field.

Our spiritual journey is the process of a lifetime. We do not know everything in the beginning or even along the way. Our conversion comes step-by-step, line upon line. We then remain steady and patient as we progress through mortality. At times, the Lord’s answer will be, “You don’t know everything, but you know enough”—enough to keep the commandments and to do what is right. Remember Nephi’s words: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”2

Through the years we take these important spiritual steps over and over again. We begin to see that “he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.”5 Our questions and doubts are resolved or become less concerning to us. Our faith becomes simple and pure. We come to know what we already knew. D&C 50:24"

Faith is not only a feeling it is a decision.

In Mark 9:24 it states, “And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, “Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief.” This seemingly contradictory statement is uttered by a man who had a son possessed by an evil spirit who was in need of healing. The Lord said unto him, “If thou canst believe, all tings are possible to him that believeth.” Christ healed the boy according to the faith of the father. The man did not have a full understanding of the mysteries of God but he knew enough to know that the Lord could heal his afflicted son.

In Ephesians 6:16 it states, “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

Faith is the part of the armor that is aptly represented by the shield. I think it no coincidence that the original CTR rings are in the form of a shield. It is not an offensive tool, but one of the defenses the Lord has given and can be moved around to cover any chinks in your armor. Any weaknesses or doubts you may have can be protected by faith. If we have not yet a perfect knowledge of tithing, or starting a family, or getting out of debt, or turning off unsavory media we can move our shield of faith there and proceed anyway. In time we will acquire that piece of armor, a sure testimony of that principle, and our shield of faith can be moved to protect another spot of weakness. As Alma puts it, “And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant.” (Alma 32:34)

(I ended with the same poem I've already posted- here it is if you haven't read it.)

My life is but a weaving

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me
I let Him choose the colours
He worketh subtlety.

Oft times He worketh sorrow
and I within my heart
Forget He sees the pattern
While I only see the part.

The dark threads were as needful
In the weaver's skilful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver,
In the pattern He had planned.

Not till the loom is silent,
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas,
And explain the reason why.

Like Nephi I know that God loves me; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” and that is ok. I know enough. I know enough to act in faith. I know in my heart that he loves me because I feel that love. I have faith that if I do my part He will take care of the rest. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.